Dealing with a loved one’s dementia is difficult for everyone involved, including children. Adults may become so consumed with the emotional and physical challenges of dementia care that they may neglect to notice that children are upset, frightened or confused.
In observance of Grandparents Day, we offer to you our tip sheet, “Talking to Your Children about Dementia.” With this guide, you can help children deal with feelings and situations that may be new to them when visiting a grandparent in a retirement home.
Our tip sheet provides advice on areas such as recognizing when children notice something is different, educating them about dementia, talking to them openly and honestly, guiding them in how to help and encouraging them to show their feelings.
Children can learn and benefit from the experience
The Alzheimer’s Association says that children who receive support, opportunities to express feelings openly and honest education about the disease are less likely to act out in a negative manner.
According to the Alzheimer’s Society (in the United Kingdom), though dealing with a grandparent’s dementia may distress children, they may be comforted by knowing the behavioral change is due to a disease and no reflection on them. Furthermore, encouraging the children’s involvement or presence can help them learn to deal with difficult situations and painful emotions.
Neuroscientist Tiffany Chow, in Today’s Parent magazine, suggests explaining dementia to small children by saying, “When you’re sick, you might have a fever or a cough. Grandma’s brain is sick. She has an illness that affects how her brain works.”
The Alzheimer’s Society suggests involving children by encouraging them to show affection, making sure time with their grandparent is as enjoyable as possible and reminiscing, with photos and mementos, about earlier, happier times with Grandma or Grandpa.
Chow also advises, “Don’t stop celebrating events like holidays and birthdays. This would isolate your family and cause more of a sense of loss.” This may be particularly important for seniors who are adjusting to new surroundings in their retirement home community.
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